Wednesday, February 23, 2011

This pregnancy has been brought to you by...

...the makers of Nilla Wafers and Peanut Butter Snickers. Oh, and clementines. Seriously, this baby appears to love sweets because these are my staples. Anyway - hello! Greetings from THIRTY WEEKS PREGNANT. Damn. I feel like every post is me freaking out about how pregnant I am, but I am continually shocked by how quickly time is passing.

I also like my face in this picture. I think I look very proud of my enormity. Somewhat funny note, on Sunday when we took the picture, I wore a pair of my regular, non-maternity jeans (with an elastic band on the snap). I was very impressed with myself, and said the only way you'd know I was pregnant is because of the horizontal stripes on the shirt adding girth. ;) This is VERY funny to me, because I am huge!

So, what's new here? I'm doing pretty good and seem to have made it over the hump of a few weeks ago. Giant thanks go to my sister for lending me her body pillow - it has made such a difference in my sleep. Less thanks to my bladder for negating the comfort of the body pillow, though! I feel like a typically pregnant person with the bladder. And when I do go, I literally have to do a big circle with my upper body. I think the baby weight must be pinching my bladder in spots, because if I don't make sure to move I stand up and find that extra little pocket of pee that didn't make it out. :) Yes, TMI. But way milder than some of the other joys of pregnancy I could detail, so be thankful!

Rob and I toured the ABC as I mentioned in the last post and were blown away. It just felt...right. I mean, it stinks that the hospital only has one room (shouldn't it be "Alternative Birthing ROOM," instead of "Center," then?), but it's worth a try. I think even more than just the room, it really clicked that having a midwife is the right thing for us. The practice I was going to only has one, so trying the ABC isn't an option. So next week I am going to another practice, one with several midwives. I really hope it's a good fit! I've been reading up on what your body goes through in childbirth, and how things progress without medical intervention. (DISCLAIMER: I know this is all ideal, and things go wrong, I might not be able to handle it, etc. I am not against drugs or inductions or c-sections, but I'd like to give my body a chance to make this happen. You know, since it really dropped the ball at getting pregnant. Maybe it will be better at getting un-pregnant.) It's fascinating and I really want to try. Rob was also into it and incredibly supportive, which is awesome because I know for this to work I'll really need to rely on him during labor.

And basically, I'm a lot more scared of being someone's mother than going through labor. Gosh, it's not like I didn't want this! But whoa nellie is it scary sometimes.

Monday, February 14, 2011

What right do I have?

I know one of the things I keep mentioning here and in person is how lucky I've been through this entire pregnancy. But I feel like I've been twice as lucky, since I have not only not had anything to complain about but also because, even if I did, I'd be very hesitant to say anything.

Such is another awkward situation on the pregnant-after-infertility tip: the reluctance to complain about something you've wished and struggled for. I've been very, very hesitant to say anything negative this whole time. I guess for a few reasons. Kind of a "beggars can't be choosers" mentality - if you're starving, do you have the right to complain about the food you're given? But also that, through the magic of the internet, I "know" a lot of strong, supportive, kind, and deserving women who haven't had this miracle happen yet. If your friends are also starving, when you get a meal you can't very well turn to them and say "Don't worry, it was way too salty." I feel a lot of guilt for any fleeting "wow, it would be awesome to not be pregnant for, like, a day" thought I have.

Now that I've hit the third trimester, things haven't gotten awful - don't worry! But I do feel a few things that make me say "Oh, that's what those women were talking about!" I still feel good, the baby is still by all accounts doing well, but I am starting to feel...unwieldy. Big and awkward and a little sore where things come together! Lots of having to get up to pee, and a whole lot of feeling like a turtle on its back when I try to get up. :) I have a bit of a waddle going on. Ask my husband to do his impression of me running last weekend for you sometime if you need a laugh! I went to see The Lion King as a Christmas gift from my mom with my mother, sister, and some awesome ladies. It was such a blast - but my feet got so swollen watching the show that I was completely taken aback. I wanted nothing more than to kick off my shoes and put my barking dogs up - but it wasn't a possibility in a theater (and I don't think the shoes would've gone back on easily if I tried!).

Oh, and I've gained 17 pounds total. Hmph.

This week my husband and I are visiting the earthy-crunchy birthing center at our local Baby Factory Hospital. Time to get serious about the actual labor preparations! Wish me luck.

And speaking of internet friends, I just heard today that one lost her twins at 18 weeks. My heart is breaking for her. Life is so unfair.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

2/3 down...

I've crossed over - I am now in my Third Trimester! Kind of unbelievable! I just can't seem to wrap my head around how pregnant I am. Like, super-pregnant. Pregnant enough that I can see the baby move! Just last weekend I was sitting in the living room, watching a part of my body move without any input from me. Rob saw it, too! I feel like the baby might be head-down, since the movement up by my right ribs had to be legs. I am pretty fascinated by my belly in general. It's rock hard and sometimes looks lopsided, like the baby is hanging out on one side. We also perform daily belly button checks. Still an innie - but not by much! It's so strange how some days it's shallower than others.

I've heard a lot of pregnant women complain about people touching their bellies. Surprisingly (since I am a firm advocate of "this is my dance space, this is your dance space") I love when people touch my belly. It's just so cool! And I have absolutely no problem sharing the intimate details of my pregnancy with people. I love it. I think there was so much I didn't know before getting pregnant, and so much I'm fascinated with now that I'm here, that I don't mind being a source of uncomfortable TMI. So, hey, let any questions rip! It was a lot of fun to go to a party this weekend and get all the rubs and the comments on how I'm "all belly" (yay!) and the guesses on what we're having. Please vote if you haven't!

Interesting pregnancy development: I feel like I have on a pair of those underwear advertised in the back of magazines where there's a remote controlling the "magic" vibrations. Weirdest damn thing to be sitting at work and feel like you're getting intimate with a joy buzzer.

So the struggle to keep active with the 4 ft of snow on the ground continues! We bought snowshoes, which was awesome! It's such hard work, though. Even with Rob going first and tramping down a trail, especially because his gait is way longer than mine, so I have to take 2 steps for every one of his. We tried this weekend and I was pretty tired after! As we get closer, I am just so afraid of having a hard labor that ends in a C-section that I am trying to stay in some kind of shape. Not sure it will help, but it makes me less nervous.